In honor of the 4 game series beginning tonight in El Bronx, we have written a little play. Here's to our boys in pinstripes. Let's play like we've been playing since the break and take it straight to division. No prisioners.
Visiting Locker (Yankee Stadium)
Penny: I got some Tropiciana-couldn't strike out a ray if my life depended on it - i need to lose weight just in my face- please don't put me in - ever again- god its like Nam flashbacks- blueeeeeeeeeeees
Smoltz: Don't worry, Brad. Terry put me in. I am 2-4 with a terrible ERA. HEAR ME ROAR. Joba is half my age and just hitting his stride....I've only pitched to the Yankees like twice. Shit guys...someone pull a Tonya Harding so I can go back on the DL and live out shoulda-retired- career there.
Big Slumpi: Dude..chill out. I have something you could take...you just have to.... wait.
Smoltz: Why? DUDE HAND IT OVER, did you hear me? i might throw my back out. i am. not. good.
Big Slumpi: I am waiting to find out what I tested positive for so I don't admit to taking something no one knows about - you know "digesting the information"- if it's what I think it is, it's only one of the three I was taking anyway...
Smoltz: I don't have time for this bullshit, I'm calling Manny.
Papelbon: Doesn't really matter what you do out there, I blow saves like coke.
Sawx Bullpen: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Big Slumpi: Coke! Could that have been it? I did do a line off Manny's back and sprinkled some on a donut once to block Roids in testing. I'll just say I did coke!!!!!
Youk: How does Jeter get all those hot girls? Has anyone here touched a female?
Ellsbury: You're screwed, man. I am the only one on this team that even resembles a human.
Youk: Harsh. Victor's alright...where is he?
Visiting Locker (Yankee Stadium)
Penny: I got some Tropiciana-couldn't strike out a ray if my life depended on it - i need to lose weight just in my face- please don't put me in - ever again- god its like Nam flashbacks- blueeeeeeeeeeees
Smoltz: Don't worry, Brad. Terry put me in. I am 2-4 with a terrible ERA. HEAR ME ROAR. Joba is half my age and just hitting his stride....I've only pitched to the Yankees like twice. Shit guys...someone pull a Tonya Harding so I can go back on the DL and live out shoulda-retired- career there.
Big Slumpi: Dude..chill out. I have something you could take...you just have to.... wait.
Smoltz: Why? DUDE HAND IT OVER, did you hear me? i might throw my back out. i am. not. good.
Big Slumpi: I am waiting to find out what I tested positive for so I don't admit to taking something no one knows about - you know "digesting the information"- if it's what I think it is, it's only one of the three I was taking anyway...
Smoltz: I don't have time for this bullshit, I'm calling Manny.
Papelbon: Doesn't really matter what you do out there, I blow saves like coke.
Sawx Bullpen: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Big Slumpi: Coke! Could that have been it? I did do a line off Manny's back and sprinkled some on a donut once to block Roids in testing. I'll just say I did coke!!!!!
Youk: How does Jeter get all those hot girls? Has anyone here touched a female?
Ellsbury: You're screwed, man. I am the only one on this team that even resembles a human.
Youk: Harsh. Victor's alright...where is he?
Martinez has wandered off into the Yankee locker rooms. He is now talking salary and trying on pinstripes.
Red Sox: WTF?!!!
Damon: Guys, he knows we resemble the 2006 Yankees and that can't be a bad thing. Enjoy your eight games. We're about to make it rain out here until the post-season. We're talking a real monsoon. Now, get out.
CC: Yo, and papi, hands off my ribs.
Red Sox: WTF?!!!
Damon: Guys, he knows we resemble the 2006 Yankees and that can't be a bad thing. Enjoy your eight games. We're about to make it rain out here until the post-season. We're talking a real monsoon. Now, get out.
CC: Yo, and papi, hands off my ribs.
