The fact that Jeter didn't play last night was almost as unfortunate as Swisher's new haircut. We know there are strict Yankee clubhouse dress code rules, but that was beyond the call of duty. It'll grow. Burnett, you keep vowing to do better. We keep waiting, but its getting deep into May and the deadline is fast approaching for you to provide a CC-esque performance. We would like to trade dread for optimism upon hearing you will pitch. Yesterday's game was just sad. Jeter unexpectedly scratched from the lineup (way to give us a heart attack), Matsui leaving the game injured, Burnett once again making us doubt his ability to win games and only one run scored total. What can we do to inspire our boys?
Put out ads in craigslist? WANTED: Reliable Aces. Winning Streak. Good Barber for Swisher. Holistic Healer for Jeter (we're applying). Clone of CC (do we have enough food?). Ten Ice Cream Trucks for CC. Clone of Torre. Teleportation of Giambi. Five automatic losses to the Red Sox solely for Papelbon's facial expressions or because socks are not an adequate mascot. Magic Bats. No, no, A-Rod, let's keep this legal.
We will just have to inspire them the old fashioned way. Stay Tuned for HipHip's grand entrance.
Put out ads in craigslist? WANTED: Reliable Aces. Winning Streak. Good Barber for Swisher. Holistic Healer for Jeter (we're applying). Clone of CC (do we have enough food?). Ten Ice Cream Trucks for CC. Clone of Torre. Teleportation of Giambi. Five automatic losses to the Red Sox solely for Papelbon's facial expressions or because socks are not an adequate mascot. Magic Bats. No, no, A-Rod, let's keep this legal.
We will just have to inspire them the old fashioned way. Stay Tuned for HipHip's grand entrance.
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