Dear Sawx,
Tap. Tap. We're right behind you. Yup, that's us. Yeah, 22-17 here. Seven straight. Five over .500. Last time we chatted, things were a little different. Last time we played you, we had emotional (not to mention physical) problems. Didn't really have things in order. You zipped ahead of us in the left lane. Things have changed. We got an E-Z pass (A-Rod), stocked up on supplies (CC) and fixed the parts that did not work (Tex). Next time we meet, we don't think you'll recognize us. We thought we'd give you a little heads up to jog your brain waves. We're nice like that.
Happy upcoming Memorial Day Weekend! No, really. That's sincere. You should enjoy your time with the Blue Jays and your holiday series with the Mets. Get a nice Fenway tan. We're not even rooting for you to fail, because at this point, it doesn't matter. Our game's changed. We're focusing on stringing together runs and streaks and our pitchers finally decided to come over and join us on team victory. We're not saying you have gotten bad. We've just gotten a lot better. We know that after beating us five times, you may not expect a challenge. You probably think you've mixed together a recipe that will get us every time. Yuk it up. You might want to re-measure all those ingredients because here are a couple of things that may ruin your meal:
We don't know if you've heard, but A-Rod's back. Yes, we know. You hate him. Not important. There will be all sorts of expletives coming from your stands when we arrive in Beantown with him in tow. Great. Once the yelling has calmed down enough for you to hear us, we'll say it and we'll say it clearly. He's not rusty. Averages don't win games. Runs do. Most importantly, he gave us that spark we needed to turn this ship around. Right Round.
Tex is out of his slump. We know. Revenge was sweet for you when he couldn't hit anything in sight during our past two series'. Karma's a biotch you thought. That's what we get for beating you out to sign him. Since A-Rod's return, Teixeira is hitting .341 with six homers and 17 RBIs. See, the thing about a slump is that usually it stops. Unless your name is David Ortiz.
We remembered that our official middle name is Rally. Many of our five losses to you could have easily been wins. The Twins 4 losses to us could have been wins. But, they weren't. Feels good to have our memory back.
Tap. Tap. We're right behind you. Yup, that's us. Yeah, 22-17 here. Seven straight. Five over .500. Last time we chatted, things were a little different. Last time we played you, we had emotional (not to mention physical) problems. Didn't really have things in order. You zipped ahead of us in the left lane. Things have changed. We got an E-Z pass (A-Rod), stocked up on supplies (CC) and fixed the parts that did not work (Tex). Next time we meet, we don't think you'll recognize us. We thought we'd give you a little heads up to jog your brain waves. We're nice like that.
Happy upcoming Memorial Day Weekend! No, really. That's sincere. You should enjoy your time with the Blue Jays and your holiday series with the Mets. Get a nice Fenway tan. We're not even rooting for you to fail, because at this point, it doesn't matter. Our game's changed. We're focusing on stringing together runs and streaks and our pitchers finally decided to come over and join us on team victory. We're not saying you have gotten bad. We've just gotten a lot better. We know that after beating us five times, you may not expect a challenge. You probably think you've mixed together a recipe that will get us every time. Yuk it up. You might want to re-measure all those ingredients because here are a couple of things that may ruin your meal:
We don't know if you've heard, but A-Rod's back. Yes, we know. You hate him. Not important. There will be all sorts of expletives coming from your stands when we arrive in Beantown with him in tow. Great. Once the yelling has calmed down enough for you to hear us, we'll say it and we'll say it clearly. He's not rusty. Averages don't win games. Runs do. Most importantly, he gave us that spark we needed to turn this ship around. Right Round.
Tex is out of his slump. We know. Revenge was sweet for you when he couldn't hit anything in sight during our past two series'. Karma's a biotch you thought. That's what we get for beating you out to sign him. Since A-Rod's return, Teixeira is hitting .341 with six homers and 17 RBIs. See, the thing about a slump is that usually it stops. Unless your name is David Ortiz.
We remembered that our official middle name is Rally. Many of our five losses to you could have easily been wins. The Twins 4 losses to us could have been wins. But, they weren't. Feels good to have our memory back.
Teamwork. Working with what we've got. Turns out, our rookie catcher is excellent. We'll be sure to formally introduce you.
There's a large fire brewing that you may remember by the name of Johnny Damon.
Who knows what will happen when we face you again June 9th. All we can say is that if things continue going the way they are going, you will be playing a very different Yankee clubhouse. We thought a warning was only fair. And yes, we'll fist pump all we want if things go our way.
Enjoy the Twins next week. I believe we roughed 'em up just enough so that they'll be easily beatable.
We'll be sure to bring some pies and a couple cartons of GOT MELK to wash them down with for your June enjoyment. CC, however, will be eating your roster.
There's a large fire brewing that you may remember by the name of Johnny Damon.
Who knows what will happen when we face you again June 9th. All we can say is that if things continue going the way they are going, you will be playing a very different Yankee clubhouse. We thought a warning was only fair. And yes, we'll fist pump all we want if things go our way.
Enjoy the Twins next week. I believe we roughed 'em up just enough so that they'll be easily beatable.
We'll be sure to bring some pies and a couple cartons of GOT MELK to wash them down with for your June enjoyment. CC, however, will be eating your roster.
Sincerely,
~Two Girls Left on Base
P.S- If David Ortiz wants to watch some tapes of how to hit home runs, we've got about 61 clips we can provide for you.
damnit, i think i broke big papi's slump just by writing this...
ReplyDeleteSame ol' same ol' with the Yankees. Empty their wallets in the off-season. Stinky start while the overpaids get to know each other. Then an early streak and chest-pounding. Then a few losses. Then up and down, up and down until September. Then barely into or barely out of the playoffs. OK, I'll give 'em barely in this time. $250 million wild cards! Then they lose. Bad karma: Biggest a-holes in the world as owners, recent history as the league's biggest 'roid rangers, and a $billion new stadium the taxpayers had to support half of while they lost jobs (and park land, to the stadium). And oh, A-Roid goes 2 for 31 in the playoffs, as usual.
ReplyDeletesame old? they haven't won nine straight in two years. joba got taken out last night before everyone even reached their seats and we still rallied to close out yet another sweep. our CF who was sent back to the minor leagues last year, can't go a game without driving in runs and every time we turn around, we're applying pin stripes on another home run. we're hitting .370 and we don't know if you got the memo, but our bullpen. is. back. that's hardly same old.
ReplyDeletewe're not talking about taxes or management. that's not really our jurisdiction. we're talking about games. winning games. we think, this time, we'll leave wild card up for the rest of the AL East to fight over.
P.S- we don't need A-Rod to carry us like Yoshi, because we're a team. We all contribute. And we'll all be contributing in October.
Your pie chart makes no sense.
ReplyDelete